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Love stories – in novels and movies, whether tragic or comic – have overexpressed the importance extended to this idea or rather inter-personal bonding ideal.
In 1979, an American psychologist claimed that the whole experience of being in love is a mere disorder.
Dorothy Tennov in her book “Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love” coined and describes the concept of ‘limerence.’
It is defined as an involuntary and obsessive experience of feelings of adoration and attachment towards a person with sexual incentive.
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Tennov’s research involved interviews of people who were in a romantic relationship and her’s was one of the first attempts to understand, in detail, love as apart from sex.
Her research stated that when a person experiences limerence towards their ‘limerent object,’ they have intrusive thoughts about them and, in most cases, these are harmful to the person experiencing it.
The limerent person becomes so hyperfocused on their limerent object that they begin to lose focus on their life.
If an interaction is possible with the limerent object, then it becomes the moment most sought for as it leads to the rush of an intense sense of pleasure.
And during the time spent with the limerent object, the limerent person looks for the ‘clues’ in his/her limerent object that reciprocates their feelings.
The most important piece of finding of Tennov was that there is no exact determinant of how a person falls into this trap that is limerence – in other words, there is no way to find out why one might fall in love with that ‘one’ person.
However, she did see that limerence can be experienced more than once by the limerent person throughout their lifetime. As well as the understanding that it strikes only a small percentage of the population.
All in all, Tennov did more than anyone else in mapping the biological basis underpinning the feeling called love.
What she and others after her could not do was to get the attention of the global psychological and psychiatric community to set care standards and classify limerence as addiction and devise a proper treatment for it.
Large parts of this community, let alone the general public, is unaware of this concept and question its basis.
No further research was done on this psychosomatic phenomenon except at the University of Bridgeport in 2008, concluding that the “work may constitute a basis for informed hypothesis formulation.”
Lack of research is hampering in knowing whether there is any correlation between the ‘disorder’ of limerence and any other mental and emotional ailments, especially those that are mostly referred to as ‘crimes of passion.’
The suffering of limerence mostly might do more harm although it is noted by its sufferers as the most uplifting and mind churning experience of their lives.
The feeling of limerence might make the person be more optimistic and better understand the pangs of love and living (albeit after passing out of limerence later in life).
The experience of limerence also reportedly makes one expand their emotional and cognitive space and aids them in better management of their feelings by strengthening the ability to be detached from them.
Limerence, moreover, in the end, inspires one to understand human bonding and seek betterment in sex life.
Most importantly, it prepares one for a committed and lifelong relationship.